As soon as you read my title you probably thought, “Geez, dramatic much?”. It may seem a tad over exaggerated to the untrained eye, but as you take a closer look, you’ll see just how dangerous and damaging gender stereotypes can be. Henrik Ibsen did. In his play, A Doll’s House, he exposes the destructive effects of gender roles in both genders, especially in a marriage.
“Any serious shift towards more -sustainable societies has to include gender equality”. -Helen Clark
What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear “gender roles”? For women it’s probably things like; home-oriented, passive, gentle, emotional, and nurturing. For men it's probably more like; tough, blunt, aggressive, and dominant. Having any of these qualities isn’t bad, but the when we generalize an entire gender on them, they become a whole different monster. The official definition of gender roles is, “the role or behavior learned by a person as appropriate to their gender, determined by the prevailing cultural norms.”(“National Online Dictionary”).
Basically since the beginning of time, the role of the woman was a sacrificial one. A one devoted to her children, her husband, cooking and cleaning. Mrs. Linde had to put her life on hold to support her mother and brothers. She was never able to marry someone she loved and have children, because she was automatically drafted to hold together her family's household. Our main character, Nora, at first doesn’t seem to have it half as bad. As you read through the play, you decide is that is true.
When you are first introduced to Nora Helmer, she is fluttering around her “pleasant, tastefully but not expensively furnished living room” (Ibsen, 1092) and sneaking macaroons. In just the first two pages her husband, Torvald, refers to her as “my twittering little lark”, “squirrel”, and “my little wastrel” (Ibsen, 1093). Who knew there was so many rodent pet names? Besides that point, Torvald almost never refers to Nora by her real name. By doing so (either consciously or subconsciously) he dehumanizes her. The connotations of her pet names imply that Nora is small, fragile, and childlike. As the play progresses along with Nora’s character, she realizes the harm that has been done to her by her father, her husband, and society as a whole. She's been a doll her entire life. She doesn’t know who she is, what she believes in, or how to complete most daily responsibilities. She even says “Surely you can understand that being with Torvald is a little like being with papa.”(Ibsen, 1119). This is probably one of the most striking quotes from the book. Your relationship with your husband is certainly NOT supposed to be like the one you had with your father. But it is (and was) that way in so many households. Nora ends up escaping to find herself but not before Torvald tells her “She is a wife and mother before anything else.” (Ibsen, 1150). That is the poisonous logic that accompanies gender roles and their destructive side effects.
Did you think I would forget about the men? Of course not! Society failed Torvald just as much as it did Nora. Torvald misses out on having a true marriage and partnership with Nora, as well as any true friendships. His macho man facade keeps him from truly being friends with Dr. Rank or anyone at the bank, because he’s always trying to compete and compensate. He constantly feels the need to be over-masculine and be the hero.Though it was not right, like most men, he probably felt he had no other option than to be male alpha. He told Nora “I have often wished you might be threatened by some kind of danger...so that I might risk my life’s blood” (Ibsen, 1148). But when it comes down to it, he wouldn’t even know where to begin. Inside, he’s like a child, pushed out of the nest too soon and married before he knows it. As hard as he tries (and most importantly pretends) his tough exterior is transparent.
Gender stereotyping causes ridiculous stigmas, anxiety, and depression. Many who feel oppressed by these narrow roles often feel that they can never be their true selves. They cannot make or maintain genuine relationships leading to loneliness. When you build a life around a person who is not yourself, things feel very empty. So, you may ask “Well, what can I do?”. Well you came to the right place. Being the progressive generation we are, we can make a difference. We can stop pushing the stereotypes and accepting people for who they are. Stop using pet names and stop feeling the need to assign personality traits to genders. We can put an end to it! Make a world with one less Nora or Torvald.